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Share  Topic: Holiday of Joys  (Read 2306 times)

Offline Sara Willis

Holiday of Joys
« on: January 24, 2013, 04:00:35 pm »
Holiday of Joys
12 June 2012, 3:55 pm


What a miserable sounding title. It was genuinely a holiday of joys, positive joy and negative joy. And inbetween joy. So a variation of joys was had.

By the way this little (I say little, it’s started little but will no doubt turn into a fuck-off essay like nearly all my blogs do…) blog is private for poy-son-all reasons. I say personal like it’s something serious, it’s not, it’s just personal. Ish. SO PERSONAL I POST IT ON THE INTERWEB.


[hidepost]I feel slightly annoyed about the end of my holiday because I feel it’s marred it so much that the trip has basically been forgotten about and any happy joy joy has been deleted from everyone’s memory and replaced with sad/angry/confused joy joy.

I actually had a wicked little holiday. I say little, it was a week but feels shortened due to the fucking aggro at the end ( I know youre only reading this to see what said aggro was and I’m probably annoying you by not telling you what it is now…But…Give a fuck. Keep reading fuckface.). I’ll be honest with you, before I went I had visions of the show Benidorm. My parents hadn’t exactly given me a glowing mental image of Benalmadena and what I’d read just made it worse. I’d also been there on a day trip a few years ago and despised how touristy it was so to say I wasn’t looking forward to the trip was an understatement.

We drove down early morning and I spent most of the trip half dead as I didn’t get much sleep the night before. I woke up properly when we hit the coast and realised just how much I miss living by the sea. I’ve nearly always been on the coast since I was born. I was born in Brighton but lived in London for a few years before moving back down the coast where we moved around but never ventured too far away from the beach. Where we live is surrounded by mountains and hills and the coast is over an hours drive away so we never go. When we got to Benalmadena I was met by the most cliched views ever – super sunburnt topless beer bellied Brits poncing about in swimshorts and bikinis was the most common view all holiday – and again I’ll be honest and say I got a bit judgemental. I hated it for the first 4hrs and wanted to go home. I thought it was a tacky dive and had already come up with an extensive list of illnesses I could be magically struck down with so I’d have to spend the week in the flat (we stayed at a family friend’s apartment on the beach).

Turns out I didn’t need a single excuse as I loved it. This might sound a bit weird but I think where I live has sort of sucked the life out of me. Being down there where there’s civilisation has made me miss it. I went on a fucking BUS! A BUS! AND A TRAIN! Where I live there’s not even a taxi. Well there’s one, but that’s it and we’ve seen it barely 5 times since we moved here. There’s no public transport whatsoever so to get on a bus for the first time in almost a year felt so fucking alien yet so amazing. It made me realised just how backward our town is. It’s the simple little things that I’d forgotten about that I really enjoyed. I know it sounds stupid but I genuinely loved catching a bus to the next town to go shopping. I CAUGHT A BUS. AND SAT NEXT TO HUMAN BEINGS.

I’m not really selling my town well but I’m just being truthful about it. Everyone seems half dead here. Even moreso now I’ve been away. Every week we do the same things and see the same faces. It was nice to sit next to strangers and KNOW I’ll never see them again, I won’t just see them next week at the market or the next day at the next town’s market. And there was so much choice restaurant wise. Here there are 3 proper restaurants – 2 Chinese and 1 Indian. The rest are cafes. Down there was everything – Argentinian, Japanese, Brazilian, Italian, Mexican, French. On the harbour there’s a sort of hallway down this building where you walk through about 20 restaurants all selling different foods – it’s amazing! You walk through an Italian then a Brazilian then a Japanese then a Chinese to get to an Indian. I swear, one day I’ll go down there and order 1 meal from every restaurant and work my way along the “hallway”. I ate some ridiculous meals that week. If you ever go to a Chinese and they have stuffed lettuce leaves (I dunno the name, that’s what they were listed as on the menu) ORDER THEM. They’re amazing. I got about 5 big leaves with some fried noodles and some stir fried chopped chicken, prawns and vegetables. You put the noodles and chopped stuff in the leaves then wrap them. UGH AMAZING. I had quite a few British meals too. It sounds odd but it felt nice to have home food as you can’t really have the same stuff up here. One meal I had was ugh lush – I had some beautiful creamy garlic mushrooms then a lamb roast – the lamb was so fucking tender I wanted to cry. Oh and when we were walking back one day I passed a bakery which smelt delicious, I went in and looked around but walked out thinking “Nah, don’t be a pig you’ve just had lunch” but went back in and bought a massive slice of cake. I don’t know what the fuck it was but it was seriously gorgeous. I think it had bits of Dime bar in it and was coated in creamy milk chocolate. Ugh amazing.

I spent half a day on the beach which was fucking lovely. At first I felt really self concious because of my boobs. I don’t like getting them out in public anymore as I don’t like the attention I get. I know you’ll all be going “Eh? wtf? You get them out online all the time” but it’s a totally different scenario. You’re not in front of me staring at them or sat next to me nudging your friend or stood with your girlfriend in the queue in front who is giving me filthy looks like I’d just stuffed my hand down your trousers. I didn’t take my top off for about half an hour as I couldn’t see a single girl with boobs that even came close to a D cup. And before anyone says something (because I know someone will) I’m not bragging, I’m stating a fact. Even though we were at the back of the beach with everyone in front I felt if I took my top off everyone would stare. Then I saw a girl with a nice pair who was so confident it gave me a bit of confidence and I took it off. Although I did lie straight on my front almost 5 seconds after hahaha I soon relaxed a bit though and even walked through everyone to get to the sea. But remembered how scary the sea is, shit myself (not literally) and practically ran back to our towels. I fucking hate the sea. It’s so horrible. It’s filthy, stinks, has disgusting creatures in it and has waves that are bigger than me. No ta.

We went to a sealife center too which I loved. They did the best dolphin show I’ve ever seen and I managed to get some awesome action shots (see holiday album which will be coming soon). It was quite a long show which surprised me as every other one I’ve seen is over in like 10mins, is dull and the animals just look fucking bored. These dolphins looked like they were having the time of their fucking lives dancing on their tails and splashing everyone. A few kept on doing their tricks longer than they were supposed to which made me laugh. They had penguins – by the way, I probably sound like a 12yr old writing in her diary about the aminals (no typo) she saw at the zoo but I don’t care, I fucking adore animals – too which amazed me as I haven’t seen them in a zoo since I was a kid. It was amazing, they had a proper mini polar ice Antartic place (I dunno where they live)! I saw bats and these WEIRD frogs that were bright blue and looked like those flip toys you get in Xmas crackers. They were so freaky!

OMG I went in some cable cars up some mountains and it was the worst experience of my life (nearly). It was fucking awful! I kept thinking my brother was rocking the car til I turned round to see his face and realised he was shitting himself so much he didn’t want to move a finger. We went up over some motorways and I had visions of us falling and getting run over in our car. HORRIBLE. But the views were so worth it. I wanted to do some oh-so-funny photos of me faux falling from the cliffs but this annoying couple wouldn’t piss off so I couldn’t do them :(  waah

Other than that we did the usual tourist stuff which was lufflee. I became OBSESSED with taking photos of flowers and have decided I want a job where I ponce about taking close up photos of random flowers and plants.

Theeeen came the shit storm. I won’t go into too much detail for various reasons but basically we had to move house the day we came home. I completely lost faith in humanity and hated the world on our last night and spent our entire last meal trying desperately not to start crying. It totally ruined my meal of BEAUTIFUL grilled fresh king prawns and a Hungarian goulash. The journey home was awful. The heat was unbearable and I pretty much passed out due to it. I felt SO fucked by the time we got “home”. Because it’s kind of impossible to find a new home in 12hrs we had to spend a night in a local hotel which just depressed me as I felt like a sort of homeless tramp. But all was sorted the next day and we’re now in a beautiful house. The only downside is it hasn’t been finished as the owner’s ran out of money (as has most of Spain) which makes me sad as they’re a fucking lovely little Spanish family with a pair of sons I want to steal. If I ever win the lottery, I don’t care how many years down the line it is, I’m giving them a fat wedge.

No matter how often I’ve been let down by people it never ceases to amaze me just how low some people will go to benefit themselves or to fuck people over. But onwards and sideways (my life never goes upwards, lets be real here). I wanted out of that house anyway so in a way I sort of got what I wanted, just a bit sooner and shittier than I’d hoped for.

I’m going to post some of my personal holiday pics. It won’t be all of them mainly because the vast majority of the snaps are of flowers and dolphins.

Footballs on at the moment. I only know it’s the Euros because it’s only European countries playing (sounds dumb but remember I have a vagina not a penis). I saw a new crush today but Ive forgotten his name already. He plays for Czech Republic which is kind of annoying as I hate Czech Republic. I went on a student exchange there and had a fucking horrible time. Nothing to do with the actual country mind. I stayed with a family of complete weirdos who freaked me out so much I cried myself to sleep for the first night and barricaded myself in my room then got my teacher to save me. The dad greeted me by walking around in his pants and the mum wore just a t shirt with no underwear. It was all really seedy and pervy and creeped me the fuck out. And in the morning they force fed me fish with jam spread on it. My teacher swung it so I stayed with who would become one of my best friends for the next 6yrs at her exchange place. I lost my purse with ALL my spending money in it and spent an hour crying my eyes out. Another teacher bailed me out and gave me some money which was lovely of him. Then at a party we had there was a weird pervert lurking around staring at all the girls. He kept hiding in the bushes and whenever any of the girls went outside he’d walk past back and forth til we all told the teacher who called the police. So yeh, not the best introduction to the country. Although the 2nd family did introduce me to some amazing pudding which was like frozen berries smothered in icing sugar.

I just had to take Nigel for a wee and now I’ve totally lost my train of thought. Erm.

I’m going now anyway so I’ll love you and leave you motherfuckers




Source: BLOG: Sara Willis []

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